Mayor: Oy, pre, bakit mukhang asar ka?

Erap: Kasi napanaginipan ko kagabi na nasa Miss Philippines contest ako at pinaligiran ng mga seksing Pinay.

Mayor: Anong nakaka-asar dun? Swerte mo nga at mga seksi ang mga kasama mo eh.

Erap: Eh, kasi ako ang nanalong Miss Philippines du’n sa panaginip ko.

Ang Malupit na Kwento ng Bedol-bedol Gang!

Mag-ingat at baka kayo na ang susunod na mabiktima ng bedol-bedol gang…Kapag nabiktima, ipagbigay alam kay Mar, at bibigyan nya kayo ng abugado…dahil mahalaga ang boto nyo, ay ang bawat Pilipino pala.

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Tindera: Sir bili na kayo ng kurtina!

Erap: Sige, bibili ako para sa computer ko.

Tindera: Bakit po sa computer?

Erap: May “Windows” kasi ang computer ko, eh.

Har har har har naman tong joke na to! Windows pa ang gamit eh may Vista na. Har har har!

Ang Hearsay ni Archbishop Cruz

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*click to enlarge*

With lots of issues right now heading us, and the ZTE Scandal seems to be fading into another story to be covered by dusts and mites at some archives, all of us who were robbed with our freedom, justice and own money has to vent this flaming anger into some productive and legal means.

Well, though I am still very optimistic that all of these scammers and corrupt pigs will ultimately fall into the hands of mother justice, let us practice some cool and fun game by identifying all the bad guys and shoot ‘em.

Enjoy! And record the highest score here!

The usual.

The day ended yesterday here at DLSU-D with the exodus of green and white rushing towards Gate 1 with some being cautious of the occasional falling from the heaven of snakes, eerie and hairy caterpillars that would make someone’s face swell to unrecognizable proportion, and some other what-do-you-call-that-whatever species joining the band. My co-faculty was once victimized by these pre-historic vampires and made him end up looking like a T-Rex. We thought then that Museo De La Salle is ready to be replaced by a museum of natural history with my co-faculty in the forefront of the exhibit of dinosaurs and neanderthals. Good for him, after a dose of some medicine his face went back to its recognizable features.

The lesson therefore of the story is: Lasallians, always turn on your spider sense!

I continued my walking with great caution while four big scary (coz they look like Scary Spice from my view) guys few meters ahead of me seem not to bother the catastrophic prophesy. Their cotton candy hairstyle flogging each other’s face but nobody seems to bother for maybe they are already used to the taste of their seaweed-like hair. And like any other students, they continued to crack jokes, tease each other and laugh at the top of their lungs but their hairs and looks certainly caught my attention. I was thinking that these guys will surely qualify to be placed as display in the new museum of natural history as neanderthals –now the museum collection is complete! (And hey, by the way, are their hairstyles OK in the student handbook???I)

While the three neanderthals were busy with their talking, the other one started to sing. Whoah, a prehistoric-looking man singing!

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I

I tried immediately to decipher the title of the song coz the lyrics were like morse codes being sent to some hidden and unknown military bunker in Germany. Is it a rock song? I continued to listen, eavesdropping like a pro.

We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do

He then mumbled a more incoherent sound but managed to continue.

It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry

Suddenly the other three guys broke out in laughter and one of them told the one singing with a deep booming voice: Wala ka pala eh, di mo memorized ang lyrics, bading ka yata pre eh. And tunay na lalaki memorized ang lyrics ng Big Girls Don’t Cry ni Fergie. He then faced the two other guys. Wala pala to eh, di memorized ang lyrics, bading mga pre, ehehhehe! And they once again broke out in laughter. Big girls don’t cry.

What the!!!! Are they insane or am I the one insane???!!! What has happened to our world, are we already coming to an end!? I don’t know if I were going to laugh or cry.

Certainly, I would rather end up with a swelling face and look like a saber-tooth tiger than go with these Big Neanderthals that don’t cry!

The lesson of the story: Never eavesdrop with some Neanderthal-looking guys for you will never know what comes next!