It is a wonder that intelligence could be stretched to its very limits just for the sake of feeding one’s greed for things that he has actually not worked hard for.  The mind is forced to wander to the peripheries of sanity, logic, common sense and morality just to find for that very rare justification to an ever-growing appetite for more.  Even our very own alphabet to say the least is not enough to put all those fat bonuses that people at government-owned and controlled corporations (GOCCs) are enjoying like there’s no tomorrow.

Romans are everywhere on those GOCCs my friend said, I replied, yes indeed, but just like the Romans, their days and glory are counted.  Greed, gluttony and self-serving actuations will eventually catch up on them.

The Romans at the MWSS especially their top administrators are enjoying the fruits from the forbidden tree in the form of numerous bonuses and perks that could only be comprehensible to a very imaginative mind.  As reported, some officials are enjoying 25 months-worth of salary as bonuses on top of their regular 12 month salary; three types of Christmas bonuses; drivers at MWSS avail themselves of car loans; a Gender Development Program worth 5% of the MWSS net income that was converted into cash bonus; “Bigay Pala bonus,” among others.  To add to the pillage of public funds, it was also discovered that its top men are making meetings twice a day (April 27 and July 27) in order to receive more per diem allowances with their meeting number to 47 times a year.  As of Senate hearing and investigations, they are receiving 25 types of bonuses.  Caramba!

All these capricious bonuses and perks are certainly incredulous knowing that MWSS still owes its retired employees amounting to P451 million, owes the government P258.6 million and losing P3.5 billion on 2008. Dios mio!  Where in the world are they getting the guts to do all these things?   I think Albert Einstein could give us a good reason for this insatiable appetite when he said:

“Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed.”

If I may just make their lives at MWSS even easier, I want to suggest a few more bonuses they could think of if they are already hurting their brains of brainstorming for more.

1.  Flag Raising Bonus – monetary incentive equal to P2,000 given to employees who attend on time the flag-raising ceremony every Monday morning.

2.  Lazy Employee Bonus – monetary incentive equal to 25% of monthly salary for not doing anything at work.  Not doing anything is also very tiring, it hurts your back and your eyes for sleeping at work.

3.  Bonus Idea Bonus – a monetary incentive equal to 6 months of salary given to an employee who could come up with a new bonus for the employees of the company.

4.  Pet Loan – loan not less than P20,000 and not more than P70,000 that could be availed by employees if they are to buy an expensive pet like a hard-skinned crocodile from the House of Representatives.

5.  Text Quotes Allowance – a daily allowance of P500 to all employees in order to have the mobile phone load to send text quotes to friends.

6.  Secrecy Bonus – a monetary incentive equal to one month salary given to all employees who can shut their mouths up and not leak any information about all the crazy bonuses and perks they receive.

7.  Charity-work Bonus – a monetary incentive equal to two months of salary given to all employees in order for them to have the money for their charitable works and donations to foundations like that of Erap’s Foundation.

8.  Kick that Bad Habit Bonus – a monetary incentive equal to a half-month’s pay given to all employees in order to encourage them to kick their bad habits like smoking, drinking and adultery.

9.  White Hair Strand Bonus – a monetary incentive given to all employees with visible white hair strands as a way of acknowledging their loyalty and hardwork to the MWSS.  Each hair strand is worth P1,000.

10.  Cyanide Capsule Bonus – a cyanide capsule given to all employees who proposed, approved, condoned and received all existing and soon-to-be formulated bonuses and perks of MWSS.

“There is something perverse about more than enough. When we have more, it is never enough. It is always somewhere out there, just out of reach. The more we acquire, the more elusive enough becomes.” –Unknown

Any thoughts about all these crazy bonuses and perks that people at MWSS are enjoying?  What other bonuses could you imagine and suggest to them?

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