This is a Guest Post by Doc Z of Zorlone.com

The Blogger/Doctor On Call

It was on my thirty second birthday when I received a text message from a friend of mine asking me if I wanted to enter the Pinoy Big Brother (PBB) house?

“@#%$@$,” was all I said to myself. I have never been a follower of PBB before, not until Season 6! I was going to say, “H-E-L-L Y-E-A-H!!!” in text, but that would have been unprofessional of me, so I settled for a, “When and what time?” instead.

Before PBB Double Up

For those who don’t know, I have been maintaining a creative writing site at Zorlone – The Filipino Poet for almost two months now. Yeah a nifty niche where by fortunate accident, I got myself involved with. It would be enough to say that I am passionate about poetry and writing short stories. If I don’t write down my stories, I’d keep dreaming them until my patients think that I am loony arguing with my characters and writing rhymes in my prescriptions.

This desire to create also gave birth to another site. It’s a bit more specialized: 140 flash fiction – Telling Stories 140 words at a Time. Another attempt to channel my imaginative desires.

These sites do not seem to have enough inspirations from broken hearts, success, dreams, and imaginations from my own personal experiences, so I kept searching for more sources – people. Yeah, most of my poems and stories were inspired by my interaction with the people around me and those I see on TV, to make it more specific, the Pinoy Big Brother. All the ingredients of a telenovela are there:  action, drama, comedy, and suspense. Add a bit of Hollywood singing and dancing, voila! A sip from a fresh spring that came from Mt. Olympus for an aspiring author/writer/blogger and his stories.

Enough ‘Bout the Plugging…

So there I was, having my orientation before entering the Pinoy Big Brother House. My friend gave me the more basic stuff on our way to the house:

“Don’t tell them about current events ” – Okay, I admit, Elmot of The Pinoy Sounding Board and Aaron of Pinoy Gossip Boy digest newspapers like pancakes in the morning, not I. I am happy to know that Gregory House and Heroes have a new episode on Torrent for me to download. So, I won’t be the most reliable person to give them the current events.

“Don’t mention anything about the time” – For the Big Brother Housemates, time is important, I happily surrendered my watch (that seemed to have used up its battery), but reluctantly handed over my mobile phone.

“No pictures” – would have been nice to have a proof that I was inside the Big Brother House with the Housemates.

The Juicy Part at the PBB House

With my belt bag on and mic attached to my white coat, I entered the confession room and examined the housemates one by one. I will not bore you with the details of questions only doctors enjoy asking, but I can’t reveal too much information as well, so I’ll just leave you with some teasers on the next few paragraphs:

Arranged below is the sequence of the PBB housemates I saw and some of the descriptions I think are allowed for me to say.

PBB House B

Carol – she’s sugar and spice and everything nice. One of the longest check ups I had in the confession room. I let her ask me questions too, except math and love life. She had a sunny disposition that could not be tainted by any Ondoy or Pepeng.

Cathy – was eager to see my Sphygmomanometer, as a nurse she was so used to inflating that darn thing. Of course, as an obedient doctor that I am, I took her blood pressure first. Wow, normal. But mine was up most of the time. She was very down to earth, conservative, but modern. Her beauty was that of a true Filipina and I have to commend Big Brother for choosing her as our envoy to Finland. Well, at least, she made me proud to be Pinoy.

Melissa – one of the most entertaining housemates of this season. She said she was nervous when she saw me. Well, I wasn’t going to do anything without her consent. So, off I went and took her BP, listened to her breathing and then told her that her lungs were still intact. A doctor had to make their patients feel comfortable, jokes were not contraindicated. All the while, I saw her face express her emotions from anxiety to familiarity then relaxed. Who could miss those facial expressions; her trademark.

Tibo – this was a tough guy. He said he felt fine and actually just finished working out at the gym. I didn’t take long to confirm that he was well, so I sent him back to the house.

Rica –I thought she had been crying, but she told me that she just finished washing her face. Like any woman, she was concerned with a lot of details. She smelled of a muscle liniment and was very poised. I remember that she had a good grip when she shook hands with me. Well, she was healthy as a gentle bear to me.

Paul Jake – apologized because he just woke up. All my questions lead to a “NO.” A quick examination and he was done. Another bull in the house.

Johan – looked like a kid in a beefed up body. He was the only one who noted my name. I had to just nod because I was supposed to be anonymous to them. I should have just wore a zorlone.com t-shirt when I was inside the PBB house.

Jayson – indeed was a “gangster” as Katlin called him. He sat there in front of me and tried to stare me down. His parting words were “Ano nangyayari sa labas?” (What’s happening outside?) I heard an audible laugh from the cameraman beyond the limits of the confession room, we both knew I couldn’t answer that. Then he pointed to my C2 Iced tea and mineral water, I would have given them to him had he not stared me down before the examination.

He’s a cool guy and definitely a character in the PBB house.

House A

Rob – looked like the same Rob in person and he spoke that Taglish style he has on TV. He was also one of the few housemates who still introduced himself to me. This guy doesn’t know he’s famous yet. Hands down to his humility. Another perfectly healthy dude. The girls out there could easily be trapped by his meztizo charm.

Kathy – Whoa! She was pretty on TV and was definitely prettier in person. I almost recited a Spanish poem I composed for our dear DiTesco, but I was afraid that all it meant was “Thank you and cool (web) site you have,” so I just shut my lengua up and cleared her of any ailments.

Hermes – this guy spoke less in person, definitely a tower in the house. Took me even less time to examine him cause like Paul Jake, he was A-Okay.

Tom – Another humble dude who introduced himself. In spite of his mastery of the English language, he kept speaking in Filipino with a slight Fil-Am accent. The kind we are used to hearing on TV from a former housemate named Sam. Let’s just say that I was part of the reason he had to leave the big Brother House to rest a bit. He would need to get his strength back for more days of tasks and challenges inside the house.

Patrick – reflected Hermes in muteness, but was an obedient patient. He had a chat with “Kuya” (Big Brother) after I examined him. No, I can’t tell you what they talked about, sorry dear readers.

Patria – I was trying to recall the lively and jovial Patria when she first entered the Pinoy Big Brother House. It was a different version that I saw in the confession room. A more timid and reserved one, I thought she was down with the flu. She was very nice and accommodating. After my examination and a clean bill of health, she admitted that she was happy to finally see a different face.

Mariel – she was also lovely even with her rollers on. She asked about coffee, unfortunately I gave her the textbook answer. She was determined to be productive that day and was going to use the knowledge I shared with her to good use. I also warned her about some of the adverse effects of too much caffeine. Overall, she was street smart and pretty, definitely a contender at the PBB.

Yuri – an anime in real life, she reminded me of a livelier version of Hinata on Naruto. There were no hesitations with her questions, as if I could provide any other information than my medical expertise, it would be hard to see the big brother house without her appealing and voluptuous character.

After I examined the last of the housemates, Kuya greeted me a belated happy birthday, I know, coolness, right? Funny thing was I felt like I knew the housemates as if I had been with them in the big brother house.

Looking Forward to Another Day with the PBB Housemates

The cast was well chosen and a haven of story lines for fiction writers such as myself, given the chance, I’d be looking forward to my next PBB housemates check up. If you’d recognize any of my characters in future short stories, then, you must have seen them on TV portrayed by the housemates of the only Filipino reality TV show that I watch.

Even if I didn’t get the chance to see the house, being inside the confession room was a blast and definitely one of the most memorable experiences in my medical career.  Uhm, I am not sure if I could write that down in my resume yet, but it was still an adventure worth telling.

Disclaimer: The events above were probably edited by the author and fictionalized in the highest degree. They may have been blatant lies and not a single word was true.

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zorloneDoc Z is the uber blogger and poet/writer behind Zorlone.com and 140 flash fiction – Telling Stories 140 words at a Time. He is a medical doctor by profession and juggles between his time on his clinic attending patients are his fondness of playing badminton and of course blogging.

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