Master Yoda used to tell me that there are two ways of looking at a phenomenon as a Knight; that basically holds true also on our way of relaying such phenomenon to other people. We could either see it on a positive guise or just be consumed by the “dark side” and become an eternal cynic and perpetual pessismist:  seeing an event/crisis as an opportunity for growth or simply as another curse.
 
And having read so many blog posts on “How to Become a Good, Great, Superb Blogger-that-everyone-loves, etc.” outlining the stellar qualities one should have to be the darling of the blogosphere, I wish to deviate from that one on this post sharing of ways for bloggers to become Darth Vader’s  BFF.
 
This time, I would like to invite bloggers into four simple yet effective ways of Becoming the Most Annoying Blogger who has ever lived.  Let us start working.
 
 
 
1. Be a Blog Holdup Man
 
How about this one:  A Blogger courted you from dusk till dawn leaving no rocks unturned just to gain your favor and include him on your rockstar list of nominees for a contest.  Having been convinced and given the “kid” the opportunity to shine, poof!, he just walked away without a fuss; without even saying “thanks” to you after he got the loot. 
 
Therefore, try to employ this dirty tactic: steal the favor and confidence of blogging buddies and when you got hold of them, vanish on the next dark alley never to return again.  Certainly, there will be a blogger somewhere who is very very annoyed with you ready to cut your throat the next time he sees you lurking somewhere.
 
 
2.  Blackmail Your Blogging BFF
 
There are I think a few fortunate bloggers that could sleep well at night because of not having blogging buddies and lurkers under their belts who have perfected the art of emotionally blackmailing their blogging BFF and blogging idols.  Or there are bloggers who “could already sleep tight” after cutting the throats of these “emotional predators” off their system. 
 
The good news is, you could easily become one! By doing these simple tasks to your blogging buddies, you will certainly get famous and carve for yourself a name on the Hall of the Most Annoying Bloggers that ever lived:
 
1. use your friendship as a means to conscientisize your buddy over a stuff that he/she disagrees with you;
2. be a nagging immature blogger by pushing your agenda and being deaf to other’s opinions;
3. blackmail your blogging buddyby saying this effective line whenever you have misunderstandings, “I will not visit your blog anymore.  You will not see me in your blog forever.  You lost a precious friend out of your own making.”; and
4. Lastly say, “Goodbye!  Mwah, mwah, chup, chup.”  LOL!
 
 
3. Perfect the Art of Spamming
 
This third stuff is something that is just too easy to do; no sweat.  Love to blog hop?  Certainly.  Why not add some stupidity on being a frugal rabid commenter and add the elusive fame on your blogging resume.  You can start by going over Chow, Cow, Shoe, Rowse and many probloggers.  Try to fill up those usual empty spaces for you to be remembered well by visitors and blog owners.  Don’t read their posts anymore for it will just waste a couple of minutes that you could still spend on some more blogs.  Remember your basic virtue as a spammer:  frugality.
 
Then, drop the bomb baby and comment:  “Nice post!”  Or put all those incoherent affiliate links and spam messages your momma tried to purge from your dictionary.  From there, visit all the blogs that could come your way and do the same step.  Do it over and over again to perfection.
 
 
4. Be a Blogging Magisterium
 
This is the most difficult part of being a perfect annoying blogger for first, it requires lots of confidence for one to proclaim salvation to select bloggers and damnation to those who fall out of favor; and second, one should accept the fact that he is to live alone on his solitary cloud away from those he condemned.  
 
How to do?  Assume that you are a blogging goddess blest by the favors of the gods and godesses of Mt. Olympus; untainted with human frailty, immaculate as snow.  From there, blog hop.  Read the posts of all those lowly bloggers then do either of the following:
 
1. condemn with full authority all blog posts that are against your opinions, unpromulgated blogging laws and dictum as if you are standing on a higher moral ground; and
 
2. complete your dominance as the blogging demi-god by trying to segregate into different classes all the bloggers in your kingdom
 
 
With these four simple steps, you can easily become one of the most famous and annoying blogger that has ever lived.  A couple of doing these stuffs over and over again, until reaching perfection, you are assured of a place at the Hall of the Most Annoying Bloggers. 
 
But as they say, you cannot have the best of both worlds.  So by being the most annoying blogger, be ready to live in the dark silent corner of the blogosphere with  nothing but the howling of solitude and the pounding of your breast.
 
Ever encountered an annoying blogger?  What is an annoying blogger for you?  Share your experience here, I am so excited to hear from you guys.

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